


From The Ashes

by MorganaNK



Category: Inspector Lynley - All Media Types, Inspector Lynley Mysteries (TV)
Genre: F/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-02-20
Updated: 2017-02-22
Packaged: 2018-09-25 21:48:56
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 4
Words: 3,314
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/9847112
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/MorganaNK/pseuds/MorganaNK
Summary: Who do you turn to in your darkest hour?





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> Property of Elizabeth George and the BBC, no copyright infringement intended

Barbara’s name flashed up on my mobile. 

“Lynley.”

There was no verbal response, but I was sure that I could hear someone breathing at the other end.

“Havers, is that you?”

There was still no answer.

“Stop mucking about Havers, I’m busy.”

This time I heard the breathing hitch, as if the person at the other end of the phone was in tears. My attitude changed immediately.

“Barbara? What’s going on? Where are you?”

“Sir.”

I was relieved to hear Barbara’s voice, but at the same time my worry increased because she sounded so frail and lost; two words that I wouldn’t normally attribute to her.

“Talk to me Barbara.”

“It’s all gone, everything.”

“What has? You’re not making sense Barbara.”

“My flat.”

“Is that where you are?”

“Yes.”

“Don’t move, I’m on my way.”

When I tried to turn into the road to Barbara’s flat my way was barred by a patrol car. I abandoned the Bristol and approached the uniformed officer, showing him my warrant card. He waved me past, and I began to make my way to the flats, breaking into a run when I saw multiple fire tenders and ambulances in the area I would usually park. 

I rounded the corner and saw the smouldering remains of the block that Barbara’s flat was in. My eyes scanned the crowd, trying to find her. I was just about to give up and call her when I spotted her sitting on the kerb; her gaze fixed on the building. 

I hurried over to her, sitting down next to her. She was shivering, tears streaming down her face. I put my arm around her, pulling her against my side to try and comfort her. She didn’t speak, but turned her face to my chest, my shirt becoming wet with her tears. I rested my cheek on the top of her head, my hand running up and down her arm. Eventually her shivering stopped and her tears dried up. She raised her head and looked me in the eye.

“Thank you for coming Sir; I’m sorry that I bothered you, I didn’t know who else to call.”

“You haven’t bothered me Barbara, and I’m glad that you called me.”

“I’ve lost everything; my photos of Terry, my clothes, everything.”

“I know this is going to sound trite, but those are just belongings; you are safe, that’s the most important thing.”

“You’re right, I know that you are, doesn’t make it any easier though; it’s like losing him all over again.”

I hugged her to me again.

“Come on Barbara, there’s nothing that you can do here now. Let me take you back to mine.”

“Thank you, Sir, I’m sorry to be an inconvenience.”

“I told you, you’re not. I’m your friend, and friends support each other.”

~*~

I stood in the doorway of my spare room watching Barbara sleep. It was not a peaceful or restful sleep, and I could see tear tracks staining her cheeks. My heart went out to her, and it was all I could do to stop myself climbing into bed and pulling her into my arms.

I closed the door quietly and made my way back to my bedroom. I slumped down on the end of the bed, running my fingers through my hair. When I had arrived at Barbara’s flat and seen all the emergency vehicles I had been terrified; my mind immediately fearing the worst, and it had been a huge relief to find that she was uninjured. Once I had processed that, all I wanted to do was take care of her. 

I mentally slapped myself; wanting to take care of Barbara wasn’t a new emotion, but it was one that I did my best to keep hidden. I was in love with her, and had been for what felt like forever, but I never felt brave enough to give voice to my feelings. Having Barbara in my life was more important, I couldn’t imagine trying to make it through a day without her by my side.

I mentally slapped myself again. This wasn’t about me. Barbara needed my support, and I would give it, in whatever way she needed me to. My feelings didn’t come into it. Rubbing my eyes tiredly, I headed to the en-suite. It was time I got ready for bed.


	2. Chapter 2

I knocked softly on the spare room door.

“Barbara? Are you awake?”

There was no response so I knocked again. When there was still no response I decided to go and make us both a mug of tea anyway.

Making my way into the kitchen, I stopped dead. Barbara was asleep at my breakfast bar, her head resting on her arms. She looked really uncomfortable, and I was surprised that she hadn’t fallen off the stool onto the floor. I walked up to her, resting my hands on her shoulders.

“Barbara?” I kept my voice low, not wanting to frighten her. She began to stir, lifting her head and looking around her in confusion.

“It’s okay, you fell asleep in the kitchen. Were you looking for something?”

“I wasn’t prying, honestly!” Her voice sounded panicked, and I rushed to reassure her.

“Barbara, I didn’t think that you were, and anyway, after ten years there aren’t any secrets between us. I told you last night to treat this place as your own and I meant it. Now, would you like a tea or a coffee?” I moved over to the kettle, switching it on and then gathering the mugs and spoons.

“Tea please.”

I reached for the teabags, “what do you want to do today?”

“I need to go back to the flat, see if there’s anything that I can salvage.”

“Do you want me to come with you?”

“You’ve been very good to me Sir, but I have taken up far too much of your time already. I’m sure you’ve got better things to do with your weekend.”

I made the tea and put her mug in front of her, before leaning against the kitchen counter. “I offered, and no, I don’t have anything better to do with my weekend. If you would like me to come with you, to either help you or just be there for moral support, then I am more than happy to.”

She glanced up at me from under her lashes, “if you’re sure.”

“I am.”

~*~

If anything, the flats looked worse in the cold light of day. 

Barbara had been correct, she really had lost everything. What hadn’t been consumed by the fire had been destroyed by the smoke and the water used to put out the flames. I watched as she wandered aimlessly around the shell of the building that had once been her home, seeing her visibly shrink as she discovered more and more of her treasured items that were now reduced to nothingness. 

As her hand reached out to pick up what I assumed had once been a photo album I noticed that she was shaking again. I crossed the room, intending to comfort her, but as I reached her, her knees buckled and she collapsed onto the sodden floor. I scooped her up into my arms and carried her outside, placing her gently onto the ground and putting my coat under her head. I sat down next to her, holding hand in mine, and waited for her to come round.

After a couple of minutes she began to stir, her eyelids fluttering and then opening.

“What happened?”

“I think the shock of what happened finally hit you.”

She struggled to sit up, so I helped her, changing my position so that she could lean on me if she needed to.

“I need to contact my insurers, and find somewhere to rent, and get some clothes; I’ve only got what I’m wearing and a spare set in my go bag at the office.”

“You can stay with me as long as you want to, as long as you need to. As for the rest, we can go back to mine and you can call the insurers and then, if you are feeling up to it, we can go shopping so that you can pick up some wardrobe basics.”

“I’ve just realised, I don’t even have my policy number, the paperwork went up in smoke with everything else.”

I rubbed her back, “I’m sure that your insurer will be able to trace your policy if you give them your address. We’ll get everything sorted Barbara; however long it takes.”

She rested her head on my shoulder, “you’re too good to me.”

“No, I’m as good to you as you as you are to me. I don’t know about you, but I’m getting a numb bum; shall we get out of here while we can still walk?”

“That sounds like a plan.”


	3. Chapter 3

Barbara had gone upstairs to put her new clothing away while I rustled up some supper. She had grown increasingly quieter as the day had progressed but I hadn’t called her on it. As I put the plates on the table I looked at my watch, surprised to see that an hour and a half had passed. I made my way over to the bottom of the stairs.

“Barbara? Supper’s on the table.”

She didn’t reply, so I headed up the stairs to the spare room and knocked on the door.

“Barbara?” I pressed my ear to the door, “is everything okay in there?”

Still no reply. I tried the door and was relieved to find it unlocked.

“I’m coming in Barbara.”

I looked around the room, and at first I couldn’t see her. Moving closer to the bed, I noticed her sitting on the floor, her arms wrapped around her legs, her head on her knees, and the bags of shopping scattered around her.

I knelt in front of her, my hand on her shoulder.

“Do you want to talk?”

She shook her head, but didn’t look up.

“What about a hug; would that help?”

She raised her head and nodded, before crawling towards me. Her arms went around my neck, her head resting on my chest. I hugged her to me, running a hand up and down her spine. I dropped gentle kisses into her hair as she relaxed against me.

“I’ve made supper; are you hungry?”

She nodded again. We got to our feet and headed downstairs to the kitchen. Barbara slid into the seat and began to devour her supper, looking up at me and smiling. 

“I take it that my catering is to your satisfaction?”

She smiled again, nodding furiously, her mouth full. I had a flashback of her eating in the Jensen as we drove to the Kenneth Waring murder scene, the pair of us giggling at her eating habits. I was falling in love with her, even then.

While I had been reminiscing, Barbara had cleared her plate and was sneaking food off mine. I playfully slapped her hand.

“Anyone would think that you’ve never been fed.”

“You’re forgetting Sir, I can’t cook. However, now I know that you can…” She grinned at me wickedly and my heart did a backflip. This was the happiest I had seen her in twenty-four hours.

“However, now I know you can what? Should I be afraid?”

“Only that I might decide to tell everyone at work what a great chef you are.”

“If I promise to keep you fed, do you think you might keep my secret?”

“Possibly.”

“What do I have to do to improve my odds from possibly to definitely? I don’t want Winston and Lafferty angling for dinner party invites.”

“I’ll get back to you on that.”

~*~

The remnants of supper had been cleared away, the dishwasher stacked, and now Barbara and I were settled in the lounge watching tv. She seemed distracted again, and I was confused as to how to reach her. She wasn’t like me; I needed to talk about things whereas she kept them locked deep inside of her, letting them fester. I was damned if I did and damned if I didn’t, so I plunged in feet first.

“How did you get on with the insurance company?”

“They’re going to send out a loss adjuster, apparently I don’t need to be there.”

“It’s good that they are moving so quickly.”

“Yeah, I can be out from under your feet and into temporary accommodation.”

I switched off the tv and moved to sit closer to her.

“Barbara, you need to stop this. You are not a burden, you are not under my feet. If I didn’t want you here then I wouldn’t have offered. You’re my best friend, and you’ve been there for me numerous times; let me return the favour, let me be there and support you.”

She burst into tears and threw herself into my arms again. I settled her on my lap, enfolding her in my embrace, and let her cry herself out; it was better this way, even if it hurt me to see her so broken.

“You don’t have to do this alone Barbara, you aren’t alone, and you never will be again. I am here for you.”

Her tears became hiccupping sobs, so I stroked her back again, doing my best to soothe her. Gradually her breathing evened out and she raised her head to look at me.

“Thank you.”

I brushed her hair back from her face and wiped away her tears with the pads of my thumbs, before kissing her tenderly on the forehead.

“You don’t need to thank me, although you could call me Tommy.”

She smiled, “is it really that important to you?”

“I’ve been asking you to call me by my name since the day we met.”

“I know, but I was too scared to.”

I frowned at her, not understanding.

“Scared?”

“Everyone I have been close to, everyone I have ever let into my life, they’ve abandoned me. Terry, my parents, friends I had, everyone. You are the only person not to walk away; but if I let you get closer, you’ll leave me too, and I couldn’t let that happen. I can’t lose you.”

“That will never happen.”

“You can’t know that!”

“I can, because we have been friends and partners for over ten years, and in all that time I have never gone anywhere.”

“But…”

I pressed a finger to her lips.

“Balford le Nez. The Eugenie Martin case. Shall I go on?” She shook her head. “Barbara, you have always been the most important person in my life, even when I was married to Helen. Calling me Tommy is not going to change that. You can let go of your protective talisman; I’ll still be here.”

She closed her eyes briefly, swallowing deeply before opening them again.

“Tommy.”

Hearing my name from her lips affected me more deeply than I had expected. I leant my forehead against hers, looking her in the eye, my fingers caressing her face. She traced my lips with her thumb and my breath caught in my throat. Her lips replaced her thumb, and she altered her position, straddling my lap. 

“If you don’t want this then stop me Tommy.” Her voice was barely a whisper. 

My hand went to her buttocks and I pulled her tightly against me, “I don’t want you to stop, I don’t ever want you to stop.”

Her lips were a hair’s breadth from mine, “good,” and then we were kissing again.


	4. Chapter 4

Barbara was asleep again, only this time she was naked in my arms. We had made love on the floor in the lounge, our clothes were still abandoned there, before moving to the bedroom where we had spent the night sharing the deepest secrets in our hearts.

I knew that the loss of her belongings, especially the mementoes and photos of her brother Terry, had really affected her. The flat could be rebuilt, fixtures and fittings replaced, but the personal items were lost forever. I had understood when she said that it was like losing him all over again, but I couldn’t lessen her pain. All I could do was be there for her, support her, listen to her and love her.

I weaved my fingers through her hair, kissing her forehead tenderly. She stirred; her body snuggling closer to mine, her eyes fluttering open. I kissed her, tugging at her bottom lip.

“Good morning gorgeous.”

She smiled up at me, “good morning to you too.”

“We have a whole Sunday to ourselves; any idea as to what you would like to do with it?”

She laughed, a beautiful sound that I would never tire of hearing, and rolled herself so that she was on top of me.

“Oh, I have a few ideas, it just depends on whether or not I can convince you that they’re good ones.”

Now I was laughing. Since our first kiss Barbara had blossomed into a different woman, and I was thrilled. Our conversations had revealed that she had been in love with me for as long as I had loved her, but she had kept her feelings hidden, never imagining that I could see her that way. We had wasted so much time; we definitely weren’t going to waste any more.

“Why don’t you tell me your ideas and then…” my words trailed off as she leaned forward, her breasts brushing my chest, and kissed me passionately.

“I’d rather show you.”

~*~

It was gone eleven when we finally made it out of bed. I had suggested that we go out for lunch, which was why, after a delicious roast in a small but popular pub, we were now strolling arm and arm through Richmond Park.

Barbara rested her head against my arm, I enjoyed her warmth. So much had changed for us in just forty-eight hours, but I was the happiest that I had ever been.

“Penny for them Tommy?”

“Just thinking how happy I am, and then feeling guilty for being happy.”

“Why?”

“Because my happiness has come from the ashes of your life, and I am really sorry that you lost so much that is irreplaceable.”

Barbara tugged on my arm, making me stop and look at her.

“I am sad that I lost so much, that there is nothing left of my parents, of Terry, but I have a choice. I can either dwell on what has happened, mourn for what I have lost, and never move on, or I can honour them by living my life in the best way possible. I choose to do that, and I choose to do it with you; if that is what you want.”

“Want? God Barbara, since we met there has never been a time that I haven’t wanted you. If I thought you’d accept then I’d ask you to marry me!”

“Then ask.”

“Sorry?”

“You said that if you thought I’d accept you’d ask me to marry you; so, ask me.”

I blushed. I hadn’t realised that I’d given voice to what I had been thinking, and it definitely wasn’t the most romantic way to propose; then again, perhaps it was the perfect way for Barbara. 

I hooked a finger under her chin and looked deep into her eyes. “Barbara, we have been partners and friends for over ten years, and in all that time you have been the one person I couldn’t live without. I know that we have only just become lovers, but I want everything with you Barbara; will you marry me?”

“Yes Tommy, yes.”

“You’re sure?”

“I’ve spent the whole of our partnership, our friendship, loving you, but never daring to dream that you could feel the same way about me. I will marry you, I’ve wanted to for such a long time.”

I cradled her face between my hands and kissed her tenderly, “let’s go home, we have an engagement to celebrate.”


End file.
